I can't believe this happened

Now the question is: are Republicans this stupid, or are they playing to their stupid constituencies?



Seriously? Trying to gotchya a fucking Nobel Laureate?

"Deeply fucked in the head"

Indeed.

How come, when I head out of town on business, or Erica is out of town at a yoga retreat, I don't need a hall monitor? And I'm one of those immoral/amoral atheists!

Seriously, when I'm in Hotlanta for 5 days for a trade show, my concern won't be "how will I resist temptation?" It'll be "where's the best local food and drink?" Now, sure, it's the south. Will there be southern girls and sundresses and legs and boobs as far as the eye can see? Damn right there will be, and I'll be enjoying the show. But not for one single fucking second will I have to "fight temptation." Roommate, boss and I will just appreciate, maybe say a "hoo-WHEE" under our collective breath, and have another damned drink. Because there's nothing better than tax-deductible meals at the Capital Grille.

When you boil it down, religion is all about the penis and the fear of women. The weak-minded have such a fear of life and of their own frailties it's ridiculous, so they project their stupidity on the rest of the world and decide that we need control, especially the women (everything is their fault, of course).

I hate these people.

Well, that settles it

I guess I'll never see a game in the new Yankee stadium either.

Because this is all I'll be able to afford...


How do you spend a billion+ on a stadium and let this happen to your fans?

Unpistevable.

People are stupid

a) The people way back in Tiger's rear view mirror are (2) Sergio Garcia, (3) Phil Mickelson and (4) Padraig Harringon. As for the first two, give me a break. And I don't think Paddy could overtake Tiger if he won another two majors this year. This should be no higher than 5%.

b) This is the only really viable option. Yes, Gino has the UConn women rocking and rolling as usual. Or more than usual. But still, once tourney time rolls around, anything can happen.

c) Are you shitting me? The fucking Bills, in the playoffs? Because TO is a positive? Hey, remind me, how did the Cowboys do these last 3 years? Yeah, that's right, two one-and-dones and a whiff – and they supposedly have talent! I'll give this 10%.

Maybe it seems crazy to give 85% odds to the Husky women losing, when I would actually bet them to win the whole thing. But in the context of this poll of three unlikely things, them losing is by far the most likely of those things.

Looking at it the other way, what would have to happen for each of these to come true?

a) One of those three guys would have to win 2 or 3 majors, and Tiger would have to absolutely suck. Hah! Maybe 5% was too high.

b) During any one of six games, UConn has to be slightly off, and a frisky underdog needs to play a hell of a game and pull the upset. THIS HAPPENS EVERY FUCKING YEAR!

c) The Bill need a QB, an O-line, a D, a head coach with a clue......... yeah, call me.

Quality

You know what's fun? Sitting through an ISO training video with a bad hangover.

At least I could amuse myself counting the fucking typos on the screen while the guy was droning on and on about quality!

That was the black fly in my chardonnay, people.

PS: Hey, there, mister training video director. Considering you're filming some woman talking about "quality" in a vulcanized rubber products factory, I think it's safe to assume you failed in the "artist" department. So cool it with the edgy camera angles and the funky zooms.

I think we know why he dumped her

Ahhh, glorious illiteracy.

Fixed!

Enough with these fucking morons already.

W**t t** fuck?

Automated censorship goes horribly, and hilariously, wrong.

The mind boggles

Which part of the plan seemed sound?



(NSFW - profanity)

Nice job there, sport

Let's play count the mistakes!



More here.

Incompetence defined

Only the Bush administration would start an Arab-language propaganda machine news network, and staff it with people who have no background in TV, broadcasting, and the Middle East.

Are you really surprised it's not just a failure, but a full-blown tragicomic disaster?

I don't understand your crazy moon language

From Pete Abraham's baseball blog:

Interim Mets manager Jerry Manuel laughed about the temper tantrum Jose Reyes threw when he took him out of the game on Tuesday to protect his hamstring. "I told him the next time he does that, I'm going to get my blade out and cut him, right on the field," Manuel said. "Hey, I'm a gangsta now. You go gangsta on me, I'm gonna have to get you now." Everybody laughed. But right-wing gossip monger Matt Drudge didn't get it. The headline on his Web site the next day said only, "New NY Mets manager threatens to stab a star player."

Just shoot yourself now

... if you suffer through this business jargon on a daily basis.

Depressing

The Poorman:

It’s all like this. Everything is just like this. Some blank young person who has memorized a 5" x 7" index card of focus group-approved phrases, yelling, yelling, yelling over everyone. And you can say what you want, and be as right as you want, but he’s going to keep yelling, and yelling, and yelling until you get sick of it, and at the end of the day everybody knows that Barack Obama goes to secret Muslim church. Everything is like this. An election won’t fix it. This rules the world.

Now, the inspiration for that is fucking hilarious:


But still, the fact that's it's noteworthy for a media hack to actually put a wingnut in his place is depressing. That wingnut is your typical GOP voter. Made of pure stupid.

How not to serve your customers

Why the airlines keep going bankrupt.

You've got to be kidding me

So I'm reading this, and thinking it's pretty funny for the most part. I mean, sending mass e-mail advertising "sales" on cocaine?

Then this stopped me dead in my tracks:

One student allegedly dealing cocaine was a month short of obtaining a master's degree in Homeland Security and worked with campus police as a student community service officer.

What?!?!? That must be some sort of self-created program, because it's not listed at SDSU's website.

Any input, Chemist or Tart?

No. This was not an accident.

WTF?

A hunter mistook his son for a turkey, shooting the boy to death in what authorities called a terrible accident.

Oldham County police said a man and his 14-year-old son were hunting on private property in the 2000 block of Rebel Ridge Road about 7 a.m. Sunday when they got separated.

When the father noticed some movement in the woods, he fired a 12-gauge shotgun, accidentally killing his son, police said.

Nope. Sorry.

"Accident" lets this guy off too easily. He heard a noise so he shot at "it?" Without knowing where the other member of his hunting party was? This is why I hunt alone, on my own posted property, or with 5 guys I trust at a second property.

Now, I don't know what the Kentucky hunting season is like, but here in NY, in Spring season we can only take males. Which means we have to be able to identify a beard. Which means, you know, seeing a fucking turkey!

I don't know what any legal punishment should be (though there will likely be none), especially when this man's psychic punishment will last forever. But he certainly should never be given a license again.

Shortsighted regulation is funny

Priceless:

Fans of foie gras celebrate its luxurious taste and texture, but animal rights advocates decry the cruelty of force-feeding geese and ducks via a feeding tube to enlarge their livers before slaughter. In 2006, the Chicago City Council agreed with the protestors and banned the retail sale of foie gras.

The law is enforced by citizen complaint, and restaurateurs risk fines of up to $500 per violation. There is a loophole, however: While it's illegal to sell foie gras, it's not illegal to give it away, so restaurants and hotels just serve foie under the umbrella of other menu items.

"We sell more than ever now," Jimmy Florek, owner of Chicago Game & Gourmet, an epicurean meat and produce supplier. While he doesn't personally approve of foie gras, he's happy to serve the market: "If they don't buy it from me, they'll just buy it from someone else."

This reminds me of various alcohol regulations they passed in Boston. You know, because they don't drink - the 3 bars per city block are just there for decoration. TJ can rant about those for hours.

First, they tried to ban Happy Hour. The legal language involved "discounting" or something. It took all of a day for bar owners to realize that it was bullshit that Bob's Furniture could discount or have a sale, but Murph's Bar couldn't. So they didn't have Happy Hour, they had "sales." One day only: Vodka drinks, $2.50!

The other one was the amount of drinks that can be served to an individual or group. If I show up at a bar first, expecting two other guys, I can't get a pitcher and 3 mugs. They can't sell an individual a pitcher. But, if the other guys show up and decide to get mixed drinks instead, I can still get a pitcher all to myself. Um...

Parents of the year

Fighting over which gang their kid should join.

My parents went through the same thing. My father wanted me in the South Saratoga Sheepfuckers, my mother in the Katskill Krauts. It got ugly for a while, but there you go.

On education and more

The Dark Wraith has spoken. And he has spoken good well.

While you're there, read this on monetary policy, and this on the insanity of the "rebate" checks.

And, most importantly, this. This is why China owns us.

UPDATE: Mike brings up a good point. White text on black sucks to read. But there are other color schemes available, at the top of the left column. Read these fuckers, will ya?!