Warning

Only read this if you want to cry for the next ten minutes.

Do not say I didn't warn you. A courtesy my coworker MB didn't extend to me when she sent me the link this afternoon.

You're gonna love my nuts - the reckoning

Yeah, that's Vince, the ShamWow guy.

The Smoking Gun reports:
Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit, a copy of which you'll find here, notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face... After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. ... While Shlomi and Harris were both arrested for felony aggravated battery, prosecutors this month declined to file formal charges against the combatants.


A shifty TV pitchman is a sleezeball? WATFO? I don't think my innocence can take any more blows like this.

I owe Fridge a beer for this one

This is the greatest thing in the history of things.


"Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML"

"Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML"

"Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML"

"Today, my mom came to me and asked if I had drank her wine. I'm 16, so I lied and said "no". The next morning there was a DVD on my bed labeled "pool house security cameras- love mom." It was a video of me downing two bottles of red wine and having sex with my boyfriend. FML"


Misery loves company, I guess. Then I think, we're all in the same boat, more or less. Or as TJ says, "All that shit that happens in soap operas? It happens in real life, just not to the same people every week."

So yeah, I actually find this uplifting in a way. How can you be all "woe is me" while scrolling through this shit?

The stock market, illustrated

Funny stuff.

America!

Harvey now works part time for $8 an hour, and she draws Social Security to help make ends meet. But she still cannot afford an apartment, and so every night she pulls into a gated parking lot to sleep in her car, along with other women who find themselves in a similar predicament.

There are 12 parking lots across Santa Barbara that have been set up to accommodate the growing middle-class homelessness. These lots are believed to be part of the first program of its kind in the United States, according to organizers.

Jeez, I suppose pinko commie liberal DFH-types think there should be ways to help these people. But what we really need are more tax cuts, so the riches trickle down.

Inaugural QotM*!

Inspired by Erica.

What songs make you cry/well up/choke up, even just the mention of them?

Erica's list, no particular order:
Don McLean - And I Love You So
Don McLean - Vincent (Starry Starry Night)
Mike & the Mechanics - In the Living Years
Amazing Grace (bagpipes, especially)
Sunrise Sunset (from Fiddler on the Roof)
Depeche Mode - Somebody
Andy Williams - Moon River
John Lennon - Imagine
Puccini - Nessun Dorma
The Platters - Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
Elvis - I Can't Help Falling In Love With You
Lyle Lovett - Smile

My list:
Springsteen - Long Walk Home
Springsteen - Thunder Road
Lyle Lovett - Pontiac
Lyle Lovett - If I Were the Man You Wanted
Johnny Nash - I Can See Clearly Now
Peter Gabriel - Solsbury Hill
Johnny Cash - Bird on a Wire
Johnny Cash - Give My Love To Rose
Grateful Dead - Brokedown Palace
Counting Crows - Sullivan Street
Neil Diamond - Solitary Man
Lyle Lovett - She's Already Made Up Her Mind
Lyle Lovett - Ballad Of The Snow Leopard And The Tanqueray Cowboy (lyrics David Rodriguez)
Melissa Etheridge - You Used To Love To Dance
Mike Doughty - Sunken-Eyed Girl
Neil Young - Wrecking Ball
Pearl Jam - In My Tree
Pearl Jam - Given To Fly
Tori Amos - Northern Lad
U2 - Red Hill Mining Town
Leoncavallo - Vesti La Giubba
Χαρις Αλεχιου - Για ενα ταγκο
WASP - Fuck Like A Beast

(*Question of the Moment. Stolen from Toast. I don't have enough readership for a QotD, so this will hang around until the next one comes up.)