LOL cats

OK, I check out I Can Has Cheezburger every day, because they're always worth a giggle, maybe an occasional guffaw.

But this one right here, holy shit. I literally LOLed, and clapped, and whatever else. 100% made of win.



Oh, and Sparkly Poops is totally the name of my next band.

Sing it, sister!

Kiss her on the... lips.

This rocks out loud, and is hilarious at the same time.

If nothing else, the alphabet works.

Here are 20 Songs About Cunnilingus.

And if you haven't heard song #4, that's a MUST LISTEN. Totally NSFW/kids/everything else, just for fair warning. Vulgar doesn't even come close. Awesome.

Bet ya ten bucks...

...a white guy approved the final script. Maybe after calling his "black friend."



Holla!

I first heard this during my commute to work yesterday, when I switched over to Free Beer and Hot Wings during a Mike & Mike commercial break.

I almost got into an accident I was laughing so hard.

"Do ya thing. Y’know, let it do what it do. On the real. It’s off the hook."

And while we're at it, this may be the best "worst local ad" ever!


This couch is perfect for a black person or a white person!

Dudes, let's go to Vancouver for the Olympics...

Brah! Dudebrah!



Best Olympics logo ever. Now where are those twinkies?

A douche off the ol' block

I think we have a new leader in Douchebags - Punchable Face Division.



Come on, you know you this is don't you? If you do, congrats, but if you don't, please do take a minute to ponder before you go reading his douchetastic story.

Really, you know who this douche is, even if you don't.

White Power!!

Sweet family hauler. Not-so-sweet translation.

Craig Ferguson rocks

Bwah!


And more.

Linkdump

It's expensive to be poor.

Poverty 101: We'll start with the basics. Like food: You don't have a car to get to a supermarket, much less to Costco or Trader Joe's, where the middle class goes to save money. You don't have three hours to take the bus.

So you buy groceries at the corner store, where a gallon of milk costs an extra dollar. A loaf of bread there costs you $2.99 for white. For wheat, it's $3.79. The clerk behind the counter tells you the gallon of leaking milk in the bottom of the back cooler is $4.99. She holds up four fingers to clarify. The milk is beneath the shelf that holds beef bologna for $3.79. A pound of butter sells for $4.49. In the back of the store are fruits and vegetables. The green peppers are shriveled, the bananas are more brown than yellow, the oranges are picked over.

(At a Safeway on Bradley Boulevard in Bethesda, the wheat bread costs $1.19, and white bread is on sale for $1. A gallon of milk costs $3.49 -- $2.99 if you buy two gallons. A pound of butter is $2.49. Beef bologna is on sale, two packages for $5.)

Harry Reid has got to fucking go! DDay tears into him like nobody's business.

Newt Gingrich - still a lying racist scumbag.

No big fan of Pelosi either, but it seems that maybe she is right on this one? Still not sure how to read all this stuff.

Ahhh, Republican TV pundits. So criminal, so insane, so stupid.

Krugman with another quote of the year candidate.

And the truth is that the Reaganauts were a pretty grotesque bunch too. Look for the golden age of conservative intellectualism in America, and you keep going back, and back, and back — and eventually you run up against William Buckley in the 1950s declaring that blacks weren’t advanced enough to vote, and that Franco was the savior of Spanish civilization.

McCain, still a deceitful douche.

Wingnuts - always pissing their pants in fear. And apparently unaware of Google.

Ways to reduce the cost of health care.

Clarkson DESTROYS the new Honda Insight. Brutal. (And here's a review of the 2001 insight by someone who just bought it used)

The Sports Guy goes head-to-head with Malcolm Gladwell, hilarity ensues. Part 1, 2, 3.

The Sports Guy on the Red Sox, steroids, and explaining it to his kid.

Best hair ever? No, I think that still belongs to that old prom picture I'm too lazy to look for now. Still... That site has some crazy stuff. Like what the hell is going on here???? Matching - just say no. And this, oh man. It caused quite a kerfuffle at another site I visit. But that's another story entirely.

Hello there!

Well, now, my neglected little blog. What shall we do with you?

I think it's time to bust a move.

I've got books and CDs, TV, sports, politics, and all sorts of random thoughts that have been piling up.

We'll get you up to speed in short order...

I love my life

Good times in Saratoga...

Read the f&@#*ing chart!

Is that with portobellos?

More goodness here.

Hey Erica, I need a little help in the kitchen...

You know, making the sauce.

1,000 words? Try 1,000,000.

Throw in a couple dozen emotions too.

That picture KILLS me. Dead.

Bwahahahaha

Justin Timberlake kicked ass on SNL last night.

Here are the winning skits:

Yeah, he hit it.



I still can't believe this happened.



This is funny, but pales compared to the previous two.

It's sad to think that if SNL just had 22 interesting guests on a year, instead of just whoring for the latest idiot with a movie coming out that week, they could get a lot more of this. Instead, we get 3 or 4 great shows a year, and the rest of the time you're waiting for the Digital Short and the news, and maybe the band.

What did I miss?

While I put together my Atlanta post and some baseball stuff, here are a couple web sites I've discovered recently:

Look at This Fucking Hipster - This is great. Back in the pre-blog days I used to send out a daily collection of links, and one of my favorite things was Blue States Lose, a weekly compilation of pictures from hipster parties down in NYC. It was hilarious how bad the pictures were, and those guys wrote brilliant captions. These captions here are mostly mediocre and obvious, but the pictures are as mind-blowingly disturbing as ever.

Texts From Last Night - Unreal stuff, From gut-bustingly hilarious to kinda scary, just a record of text messages (and occasionally responses). We were discussing the site in Atlanta, and one our favorites was "Trimmed my pubes. Broke your paper shredder. Separate events." Mine personally was "My mouth tastes like bad decisions." There is just so much here. Another that stands out for me:
Text - What I really want to do is right
Reply - Start by learning how to spell

or:
(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom

or:
(808): The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.

or:
(703): I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.


I can read that shit all day long.

Play ball!!!!

A fine sight on a warm Atlanta day

130 beers on tap...

UPDATE: BTW, are you all impressed with my 30 pixel camera-phone? Anyway, great place. Right in the arena where the Heat-Hawks game is going on right now. VERY lively crowd.

Travel time!

Airplane air! Shaking hundreds of strange hands!

Bring it on, pig. I'm packin' Purell.

This is pretty impressive

If you've never played golf, you have no idea how difficult this is; I'm actually surprised a pro was willing to fuck with his swing for this kind of thing.