Where were we?

Oh, yeah. Working like a fucking dog again. Office by day, working at home until 1 or 2 or 3 in the morning every night.

Hence the radio silence.

~~~~~

Let's start a shuffle while I spew.

Kings of Leon - Holy Roller Novocaine (Youth and Young Manhood)
In my KoL top 5. Filthy, filthy groove. Come on baby, you and me, let's get together and do the nasty. Ah, but "Lord's gonna get us back." The band consists of the three brothers and the cousin Followill. They come from a long line of Pentacostal preachers, and grew up steeped in deep-South religion. This conflict of the rock-n-roll life with their upbringing comes up quite often in their lyrics.

Judas Priest - Diamonds and Rust (Unleashed in the East)
What fucking power he had. This album is stupendous because of Halford alone.

Stevie Wonder - Superstition
Stevie Wonder's a musical genius!!!!! There aren't many booty shakers above this on the all-time list of booty shakers.

Black Crowes - Hard to Handle (Shake your Moneymaker)
Yesaroun'
I haven't heard this in 3+ years, I'd guess. Holds up pretty nicely all these years later.

Talking Heads - Slippery People (Stop Making Sense)
One of the all time great bands. I fuckin' love David Byrne. A freaky, freaky genius. And what a concert this was. Seriously, if you've never watched this movie, do yourself the favor. Beautifully conceptualized and filmed. This is my favorite song from it.

Franklin Micare Trio - Coconut Woman
This is the band that played our wedding. Their two albums are just so good. Amazing what you can find locally, if you look. I remember when he had just moved into the area, and played Rolls for the first time, just him and his guitar. At the end of the night, I turned to Tom, the bartender/owner, and said "you'd better make this fucking guy a regular." "Way ahead of you," he said. He wins the Metroland "best jazz vocalist" year in and year out, and puts on one HELL of a bar show.

Jimmy Eat World - The Middle (Bleed American)
Awesome. Killer hooky chorus, uplifting message, solid groove.

Robert Plant - Big Love (Manic Nirvana)
Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Plant put out some kick-ass material post Zeppelin. Page, not so much. Remember Coverdale/Page? What a steaming pile of shit that was. Could he have picked a worse Plant-wannabe-poseur? I think not. Also, nice way to admit you got nuttin'.

Jerry Lee Lewis - Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On
Shake it baby, shake it.

Ramones - Rockaway Beach
OK, who wrote the best 2-minute songs? These guys, or Buddy Holly? That's a tough call.

Public Enemy - Can't Truss It (Apocalypse '91 - The Enemy Strike Black)
All right all right
Bass in your face
Not an eight track
Gettin' it good to the wood
So the people
Give you some a dat
Reactin' to the fax
That I kick and it stick
And it stay around
Pointin' to the joint put the Buddha down
Goin' goin' gettin' to the roots
Ain't givin' it up
So turn me loose
But then again I got a story
That's harder than the hardcore
Cost of the holocaust
I'm talkin' 'bout the one still goin' on
I know
Where I'm from, not dum diddie dum
From the base motherland
The place of the drum
Invaded by the wack diddie wack
Fooled the black, left us faded
King and chief probably had a big beef
Because of dat now I grit my teeth
So here's a song to the strong
'Bout a shake of a snake
And the smile went along wit dat
Can't truss it

'nuff said.

Damn those guys were good.

Scorpions - Blackout
This song is so fucking rude, but I don't care. It sounds too good to get all high and mighty about it.

I miss my Matthias Jabs striped pants.


Except mine were black and white. They were quite the sensation at Delta Phi parties. Seriously, I was just goofing around, but the ladies always had to flirt and comment. Those pants got me some.

Apostolos Nikolaidis - Panta me glyko hassisi
Wine, women, song, and good black hash. What else do you need, really?

Zagoraios - Pou Pas Memeti
Hey, it's like Two for Tuesday, Hellenic style! Another kick-ass groove. If I had to pick a favorite genre of music, it would probably be Greek "rebel" music.

Pearl Jam - Green Disease (Riot Act)
It's a disease, and they're all green
It emanates from their being
A satiation with occupation

And like weeds with big leaves
Stealing light from what's beneath
Where they have more
Still they take more

A top-5 PJ song for me. And just unbelievable live.

Ramones - Teenage Lobotomy
Now I guess I'll have to tell'em
That I ain't got no cerebellum

White Stripes - Seven Nation Army (Live Under Blackpool Lights)
This is another mind-blowing concert DVD. Watching him make all that wonderful noise with one strangely-tuned guitar and a couple pedals is crazy. Crazy good.

Limbo Maniacs - Butt Funkin'
Some random band I got from Toast. The whole album is too much to take in one dose, but this is really good shuffle stuff. Great grooves. The lyrics, well... you can surmise the maturity level from the title of this song.

Arctic Monkeys - 505 (Favourite Worst Nightmare)
A great way to close an album out. Builds slowly, a little organ, a little guitar, some rhythm section, and finish cathartically. Yes!

Bruce Springsteen - Radio Nowhere (Magic)
Yeah, this puppy holds up.

Weezer - Dope Nose (some untitled album with a color)
Hey! Another great 2-minute song band. It's the anti-Metallica competition.

Clapton and a zillion others - While My Guitar Gently Weeps (Concert for George)
Very well done tribute concert.

The Hold Steady - Stuck Between Stations (Boys and Girls in America)
An all-timer. In my top-20 songs ever, fer sure.

Gogol Bordello - 60 Revolutions (Underdog World Strike)
Where posers and models with guitars
Boogie to the shit for beats
I make a better rock revolution
Alone with my dick!

Another top-20 song. These immigrant punks kick some ass.

Kaiser Chiefs - I Predict A Riot (Employment)
Rockin', hooky, groovy, with an eminently shoutable chorus.

Masters of Reality - She Got Me (when she got her dress on) (Sunrise on the Sufferbus)
What an amazing one-off project this was. Ginger Baker hooked up with a couple buddies and put together quite a collection of tunes. This one right here is positively dangerous if you're driving. I literally put my cruise control on when this song comes up.

~~~~~

Spent last weekend in Boston, playing at my friend Tom's golf club at the annual 3-day Member-Guest Tournament.

We sucked balls. We couldn't catch a break Friday and Saturday, and the guys we played were catching all of them. We started the weekend 0 for 5. That's record futility for us. Sunday came around, and it was spoiler time. We won both of our matches, and I shot a pretty damned good 83. We slid up from the basement to 4th place of 6, so at least we won't be hearing about it for the whole next year.

Tried to hook up with oddjob. He suggested the place. We showed up at 7:45, grabbed some bar space for us and stools for the girls. I proceeded to walk around the whole establishment and the outside seating area, looking for the guy "about 6' tall, with thinning brown hair and glasses... wearing a blue short-sleeved shirt and black pants." I did this 5 times over the next hour. Nine o'clock and a $90 tab later, we left.

He was outside the whole time. How does this happen?

~~~~~

My company makes the big move next week, into some phenomenal new digs. The building used to be the largest knitting mill in the world, until a big fire. It's been sitting around all decrepit for years, because the textile industry is non-existent in the US. OK, pretty much all industry is gone. We've got the entire second and third floors of a fully-restored factory building. We're talking straight out of an HGTV show. Exposed brick and ventilation ducts, the whole 9 yards. I'll post pictures. Oh, and I get an office! Semi-private, but I actually prefer that. The better to oversee my minions. {rubs hands together and grins evil grin}

~~~~~

OK, that drum routine during the opening ceremony was outstanding.

It freaked Erica out. Gave her visions of Hitler-esque marches or something. Can't say I disagree with her, but still, awesome.

I, for one, welcome our Chinese drumming overlords. They own us already, they just haven't moved in yet.

~~~~~

This is too silly

Craig Ferguson has been going nuts on the "fork in the garbage disposal" dance for a couple weeks now.



(that one starts at 1:50)

More fun with charts and graphs

This is a great LOLblog.

This one took me a second...

Olympics

I've suddenly taken an interest in synchronized swimming.

Hot faux-lez Brazilian twins? Sign me the fuck up!

Wheeeeee!

OK, where do I buy one of these? And I need a fat guy too, for maximum oomph.

You were born to be a shredder

Flight of the Bumblebee at world-record speed.

File under "Duh"

If you "...increase the number of teenagers eligible to receive family planning services through Medicaid you get fewer teen pregnancies."

Facts and science do indeed have a liberal bias.

The Tennessee church shootings

Shakesville regular "bekitty" was in the church when it happened.

How she managed to put this post together, I'll never know.

More on hypermiling

Yup.

Now, not a chance I'll be doing 60, but my 10-mph slowdown from 78-80 to 68-70, and using cruise control, has been worth 2.5 to 3 gallons a week. That's real money.

Emmereffing a-holes

You work for us, you fucks!

You dangled your participle!

Bill Cowher teaches a community college lit class.

Go forth and shop!

My brother has put up a web store at Etsy to sell some jewelry separately from the wholesale stuff he puts in jewelry stores.

Here's his web store.

Here's a catalog of his silver and gold stuff. That's not complete, as he's added other designs since we last updated the site. That's the stuff that he has in jewelry stores in AZ, NY, ME, NH, LA, and a few other places.

If something there interests you, let me know. Also, he does a good amount of custom orders for clients.

How apropos

"Memphis Police Director Larry Godwin and the city of Memphis have filed a lawsuit to learn who operates a blog harshly critical of Godwin and his department."

Just life in Bush America.

How 'bout that name, though!

Yay!

CT scan of my brain showed nothing.*

I figured as much. Four consecutive weeks of 4-5 hours of sleep per night, no real respite from insane workloads from the office and a lot of physical labor at home were the likely culprit of the headaches. Complete and utter exhaustion.

Sometimes I forget that I'm pushing 39. My body clock thinks it's 29. Hell, my cock thinks it's 19.** I need to make sleep more of a priority. (Says the dumbass posting at 2:50 am.)

Not going into the office Monday and Tuesday was a really smart decision though, I must say. I still got a lot accomplished - I always put in honest workdays from home. I like that environment; nice and quiet, just me huddled in my cave, dressed really warm, typesetting some random Albanian and Russian documents. Log into the office e-mail, check out the latest emergency, log out. Deliver files as needed. Take a catnap. Pop some prescription-grade Tylenol with codeine. Another nap. Back to work.

Honestly, I think I accomplished more in 5-6 hours of work at home each day than I usually do during 9 hours at the office. Between Outlook and Messenger going off every minute, and the phone ringing, and the people coming up to my desk with this problem or this question, even my multitasking abilities get taxed. At home, I just tuned out the world and worked. And didn't lose sick days.



*Ba-dum-dum
**HEY-oh!

I laminated this meme

Tracy busts out the Top 5 Free Pass question!

I haven't thought about this in a while...

First, the ground rules:
1) Looks are great and all, but really, there will be 15,000 women on a beach in California tomorrow that I would find physically "hotter" than anyone on this list. But that doesn't matter for this list. Not that the women below are unattractive or anything, but I need to have read an interview, or seen her on a talk show, something that lets me know that there's a brain behind the the looks, and an actual talent beyond reading lines in a script (for example).

I've seen too many flavor-of-the-minute actors and actresses on Letterman that can't carry a conversation past the amusing anecdote (covered in the pre-interview, of course) they've tried to memorize.

"So, {actress}, what have you been doing during your show's hiatus? Did you go anywhere?"
"Why, funny you mention that, Dave. I just spent 2 weeks in Scotland, and boy did this funny thing happen to me..."

You can see Letterman fidgeting with his blue card wondering when the damned commercial break is coming.

2) I've always been drawn to older women. Intelligent, experienced, a knowing twinkle in the eye. I dated 2-3 years older than me way more often than I dated 2-3 years younger. I married that way too.

Anyway, here goes.


Shakira - OK, of course I go and violate rule 2 right away, but this in the only one on this list younger than me. Intelligent, talented, funny, ass and legs from the gods. And Ojos Así is one of the greatest songs of all time.

Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll (Arabic: شاكِرة ايسابل مبرك ريبول ) (born: February 2, 1977), known simply as Shakira, is Colombian singer-songwriter, musician, record producer, dancer and philanthropist who has been a major figure in the pop music scene of Latin America since the mid-1990s. She is a native Spanish speaker and also speaks fluent English, Portuguese, Italian, and some Arabic. ... According to the United World Chart, Shakira is as of 2008 the 4th most successful artist so far for the last decade, in terms of single sales. She is also the only artist to have two songs in the top ten of the most successful singles since 1999

Seriously. How do you top that?












Tina Fey - First woman head writer for SNL. Wickedly brutal humor which really shone through when she started doing Weekend Update, instead of just writing behind the scenes. The mysterious scar. The horribly bad Greek middle name. The nerd chic thing she rocks. Oh yeah.



Jodie Foster - Intelligent, talented, strong. And OMFG that jaw and those eyes. It's ridiculous how beautiful she is.



Maura Tierny - The sad eyes just suck me in. The protector instinct kicks in, I think. She was a fucking riot in News Radio. Lisa Miller was one of the greatest sitcom characters ever, and that show was chock full of them. I've crushed on her ever since. She's probably the most private of all these people, but every interview with her I've read has been interesting. Also, TJ's wife used to play Barbies with her when they were kids in Boston. I don't know what that has to do with anything. Maybe they played doctor too...



Holly Hunter - Great smile, great voice, great actress, funny. What did David Strathairn say in The Firm? "I love your crooked little mouth." Yeah.


Honorable mentions: Sarah Silverman, Gwyneth, Uma, Sandra Bullock, Amanda Peet, Kelly Ripa


Here are more: Toast, Mike, Chris, Maurinsky, Tart

Why flying sucks

Very interesting insider view.

So I've got that going for me, which is nice

I went to the doctor today, trying to find a cause for some nasty headaches.

The assistant takes me back to the room, and we make idle chit-chat while she takes my BP and all that stuff. I made a couple aneurysm jokes, but also seriously added that I know of two people around my age who almost died, and one who did, from brain aneurysms they thought were "just headaches."

She agreed, might as well check it out.

"Do you have kids?" she asks.

"No."

"Well, you're still valuable," she said, unconvincingly.


W. T. F?

And more

“Of the women veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan who have walked into a VA facility, 15 percent have screened positive for military sexual trauma, The Associated Press has learned. That means they indicated that while on active duty they were sexually assaulted, raped, or were sexually harassed, receiving repeated unsolicited verbal or physical contact of a sexual nature.”

Women in the military

Jezebel gives a lot of links to coverage the problems.

Is the military actually waking up? It's be nice to think so, but considering how many stories are out there that the traditional media won't touch (LaVena Johnson for example), I'm not optimistic.

We're the People's Front of Aberystwyth

So, funny story.

Sue Jones-Davies, who played Judith Iscariot in Monthy Python's Life of Brian, has become mayor of the Welsh town of Aberystwyth. A town where the movie was banned upon its release 30 or so years ago.

Three weeks into the job, the first thing she is looking to do is to repeal the mid-Wales town's near 30-year ban on the film. Jones-Davies, a Plaid Cymru councillor, who teaches yoga and drama in the town, said it was time for the matter to be reconsidered. 'I think times have moved on a bit and I can't imagine people would still want it banned, although there may be a few who would,' she said.

Like many towns in Wales in the Seventies, Aberystwyth was dominated by the church and its civic leaders took a dim view of anything that mocked established religion. Aberystwyth was not the only Welsh town to ban the film.

Jones-Davies, who has lived in Aberystwyth for 20 years, was astonished to learn upon becoming mayor that the ban was still in place, but understood that it was a product of its time. 'We used to be a town with many, many chapels - it used to be a town that took religion very seriously,' she said. 'So I can imagine that, at the time, the town's elders weren't very sympathetic to the themes and messages in it.'

Ya think? I'm curious as to what the ban entails. OK, so maybe the little town theater (if there is one) can't play it. But haven't people owned VCRs and DVD players over the years? Were they not allowed to own it? How does that work? I'm sure as poorly as any government ban works. But really, how can you ban something that's available the next town over?

Blog of the times

So, that last post just happened to be at the top of the page at Calculated Risk. I had to link that line, but then I went on to read the last day or two worth of posts, because it's been busy around here.

Wow.

Wachovia cutting out brokers.
"See-through" commercial real estate.
No place is so desirable that it's untouchable. San Diego is hurting.
BofA and Countrywide. Whee.
San Francisco. San Mateo. San Jose. San Screwed.

And the piece of resistance: The Duelling Narratives of Debt. Readthisreadthireadthis.

Bookmark the joint, will ya already?

Quote of the day

"We are all subprime now!"

On Stan "The Man" Musial

JoePoz on one of the greatest players no one remembers.

I remember that All Century thing, and I remember my WTF moment when I realized he didn't make the team by fan vote. The intervention by the MLB-appointed panel was quite welcome.

We're talking one of the greatest 10 hitters of all time, and he couldn't crack the top 10 outfielders?! The lesson is, as always, people are idiots.

One (hundred) beeellion dollars...

Zimbabwe's troubled central bank introduced $100 billion banknotes Saturday in a desperate bid to ease the recurrent cash shortages plaguing the inflation-ravaged economy.

The bills officially come into circulation Monday, although they were on the foreign currency dealers market Saturday.

As high as they are, though, the bills still aren't enough to buy a loaf of bread. They can buy only four oranges.

The new note is equal to just one U.S. dollar.

As Atrios says, Wheeeeeeeee!

Nice job there, sport

Let's play count the mistakes!



More here.

Doubleyoo Tee Eff

I'm dumbfounded by how completely misleading this headline is.



Wow. Really? She must have really been a super-mega-bitch on the set right? Throwing tantrums, demanding big trailers, making crazy catering requests, etc? Fuck, we hate her...





Oh. Um... never mind then.

Hey, whatever gets you clicks, right?

When there weren't any parties, sometimes she'd party with townies

I'm not ready to write a review yet, but I can most definitely give a hearty thumbs-up to The Hold Steady's new album Stay Positive.

When the aliens land, and they tell me "please explain your 'rock and roll,'" this is the album I will give them. This is the stuff all the kids are yammering about.

THS are rock and roll. Songs about drugs and alcohol, misfits and losers, rebellion and misspent youth... and those are the happy ones!

I need to figure a couple things out first, but I can't recommend this album enough.

Here's the song from their previous album that made me go out and buy it the day after the broadcast:


And here they are with a new tune, on Letterman Wednesday night.

She must be really good

There's a joke about chrome and trailer hitches in there somewhere.

(h/t Deadspin)

I'm good at math and all...

...but this just blows my mind:

The impact on consumers of the inflation juggernaut is now such that prices of basic goods like bread, when available, go up by 30-40 percent per day.

For example, the price of a loaf of bread on Monday which stood at 60 billion Zimbabwe dollars -- one US dollar at the then black market rate but 400 according to the official exchange -- had risen to 100 billion little more than 24 hours later.

A three-star hotel in the capital has been hiking its room rates by around 300 percent every three days and in the latest round of increases, rates shot up from around four trillion dollars to 10 trillion.



That's not inflation. That's not even money!

This is just ridiculous

I love baseball, and this has been a great game so far, but come the fuck on!

I think it's time to make the All-Star game not count any more. Ties are acceptable too. I think people got their money's worth last night and tonight, don't you?

This just in

Josh Hamilton is a BEAST!

And it continues

Our women soldiers are still under assault from within the ranks.

UPDATE: Unfortunately, this didn't end well. Her husband, a marine, has been charged with her murder. This is ridiculous. Three stories like this just in the past month, and countless others over the last few years. Philip Baron (at Shakes and Waveflux) has also been pushing the LaVena Johnson story for quite a while now, and it's just starting to hit the blogging public's consciousness. How long before the media catches on?

We are goddamned nerds

So, the IT guy and I were debating motherboard brands the other day.

I said: "I'm an ASUS man myself."

And we laughed.

Girl with Hats

Here are the captions we've come up with:

• 33 years and a $400 hat later.
• From Woolworth's to Le Beau Chapeau.
• Foreshadowing...
• You got a problem?
• Take the fucking picture already.
• Yeah, what?
• I'm thirsty.
• :/
  

Your suggestions welcome in comments.We think.

Oh yeah? Watch this!

So, about 5 minutes after I post the picture entry, I go looking for Erica, assuming she'd be on the couch watching HGTV or something. Nope. I wander upstairs, and she's at her computer looking at that very post. Good timing, I guess.

Her three comments?
1 - You're so cute
2 - You look just like your mother
3 - Nice cameltoe

Yeah, that's my wife. Anyway, I figured I should include her in the historical revue.

When we put together the Guest Book for our wedding, we went back and scanned pictures from similar stages in our lives.

Here they be:
Step 1 - Cuteness defined


Step 2 - At your service


Step 3 - I think they made a movie about this


Step 4 - OK, this just isn't fair

HEY! I was doing it for the kids! OK, fine... just my little brother. Still, I had to suppress a lot of teen-aged cool to do that shit.

Step 5 - Big hair and diplomas. Two great tastes that go great together.



Oh, and lest I forget...

Those legs? All mine, baby. Jeebus fuck - ballerina and cheerleader? Who needs a lottery ticket?

Fun with old pictures

Me and Mom, date unknown


Me and Dad, date unknown. Quite likely a few seconds before or after the previous pic.


My second birthday, in Greece. That's my grandmother (paternal) on the left, probably telling me to look at the birdie. (Κοιτα το πουλακι!)


Friends don't let friends drive Massey-Fergusons


Oh, shit, never mind. My grandfather had one of them too.


My father at 23 (1967)


My mother (middle) and her two sisters. Does it get any groovier than this?


Yes. Yes it does. My parents at my cousin's baptism. Holy fuck do I want a green suit right about now.


Who loves ya, baby?
or
Yeah, that collar's popped. Wanna make something of it?


Fast as a shark, leaping out of the dark
He's a killer, he'll rip out your heart

Holy hypermileage Batman!

Hello.

My name is Angelos, and I am a leadfoot. I firmly believe that speed limits are just a suggestion. I think that 75 is a good base speed, and from there it's up to weather and traffic conditions at the moment.

And yet here I am, in the "slow" lane, with the cruise control set to 70. Oh, sure, every now and then I crank it up to 72 to pass one of those really slow fuckers, but in general, I am now a slow-ass-driving motherfucker myself.

Why?

One reason and one reason only - the price of gas. It take me 5 minutes more each day to get to and from work, but I also am saving $12+ per week in gas money.

Funny thing is, it's not just me. EVERYONE is driving like a wuss. Just a year ago I tooled around doing 78-80 just about on every highway, and really had no fear of getting pulled over because half the cars were doing it with me. Now, I get nervous hitting 75 while passing because I'm actually standing out; that's usually the difference between a cop bothering to pull you over or not.

This has been going on for 4-5 months now, and I'm quite curious about the financial ramifications for local municipalities. Seriously, I see a lot more cops sitting in their hiding spots than actually pulling people over. What are they going to do, pull someone over for doing 69? (heh) Traffic tickets are a huge source of income to local governments, because even if you negotiate the original violation down to some lesser charge, there is always the $50 or so flat fee for the court. That income has to have been affected.

I ask my readers: are your eperiences similar?

House for sale

Gallery here.

4 bedroom, 2.5 bath. 2400 square feet on main two floor, plus 350 sf finished basement bar (part of full basement).
Wilton, NY 12831

Amenities:
• Immaculate home, move in condition, very desirable family neighborhood on tree-lined street
• Private wooded yard with deck and shed
• Park-like grounds with extensive perennial gardens recommended for Better Homes and Gardens magazine
• Sunken living room with fireplace and sliding glass doors leading to deck
• Custom gourmet eat-in kitchen, plus formal dining room
• Full basement, partially finished with bar, rec room, utility sink, ample storage and workshop
• First floor laundry/mud room with huge pantry and utility sink
• Huge master bedroom; other 3 bedrooms are above-average size also
• Central air and heating with HEPA air filter
• Near McGregor Links Country Club, shopping, the Northway, and the track
• Wine racks in basement
• Master bedroom has walk in closet with ClosetMaid system

Upgrades:
• Brand new garage doors 2008 with transferable warranty
• Brand new master bathroom 2008
• Brand new half-bath with custom-painted cabinet
• Updated guest bath
• Kohler fixtures and accessories in all bathrooms
• New kitchen 2007 with stainless GE Profile appliances, maple Kraftmaid cabinets, granite countertops, Kohler fixtures, built in water filter, and bamboo floors
• New roof 2004, 30 year architectural tiles
• New central air unit 2004
• New floors throughout: carpet, bamboo, or tile
• New mantle and crown molding in living room
• Front door has new Schlage doorknob and custom stained glass; new Schlage egg shaped doorknobs throughout the entire house
• New stone entry path and professionally designed garden
• Every room has been painted with decorator colors and/or finishes
• Updated interior and exterior lighting

Holy mother of bad writing

TBogg has the full story here, and you should read it. Typical waaaaaambulance wingnut, blaming her inability to get a job in academia on liberals, of course.

Here's a sample of her writing:

The red and green feathers shimmered in the sun, and I saw that they were roosters. They looked like the figures lining the gift display of the Café Latte, a place to which I was headed, and I walked there with eyes straight ahead.

I was setting down my heavy bag by a little table in the front when the pink-shirted Harley man passed by on the narrow sidewalk on the other side of the window. He didn’t need to in order to get to the Auto Zone next door. Two layers of glass separated us. Then he disappeared.

I walked to the back. I had already had too much coffee that morning, so I ordered a cinnamon steamer from the boy playing a computer game behind the counter.

...

I pulled out the envelope thick with papers written by cloth-capped boys now likely commandeering Jeeps down Barnett Shoals, the hairs even on their legs glistening in the sun. I sighed at the beginning of the first one that started with, "in today’s society." There was no one to catch it, or my laugh.

I was poised with red pen, the cup of frothy sweet milk to my lips when Harley man passed by on his way back. He had a box marked in black and red in his hand. I thought he might nod, but his look was a reflective stare. The thin mouth was set in a straight line behind the carefully trimmed brown whiskers. The look said nothing. Even when I smiled it did not change.

That's just a whole new reference point for "bad" right there. It may have nothing to do with baseball, but I kind of wish the guys from FJM would take a stab at it anyway.

The magic of sports

Another beauty from JoePoz.

Baseball is truly the best game in the world.

My brother and I screamed so loud that night, in my basement, that we woke up my girlfriend on the second floor.

Then the Yanks did it again the next night, and we were even louder. At least she was awake that time, though.

The most amazing back-to-back nights of baseball I had seen to that point, and I'm not sure it's been topped. And 2001 definitely gets my vote for best World Series ever.

Stunning

Some amazing photography from the California wildfires.

Rawk!

(h/t Free Beer and Hotwings)

Build your own fighter jet!

Now I need to get my hands on:

29,036 pounds of composite, aluminum, titanium, and miscellaneous alloys for the fuselage
1 × Pratt & Whitney F135 afterburning turbofan
1 × Rolls-Royce Lift System (for STOVL model)

and so on...

Freeance and Peance Meme

From Toast.

Are you "proud to be an American"?
No. I don’t go for patriotism very much. Ten years of living elsewhere will do that.

Favorite Founding Father?
Ben Franklin.

Favorite president?
Lincoln. He should have just let the South go rot in hell though.

Biggest "Patriotic Moment"?
Lake Placid, I guess.

Favorite patriotic song?
“America, Fuck Yeah!”

But really, there are no good American patriotic songs. The list of Greek ones is endless. I'm not sure why this is, but I believe it's the American tendency to mistake cheesy for earnest.

Favorite American cuisine?
Soul & Creole

Happiest political moment of your life?
November 1992. Watched the election results at Toast’s place in Troy.

A close second would be November 2006, when NY20 got rid of a ginormohuge GOP scumbag. Long time coming. His downfall was total and complete too. Caught with a mistress, the subsequent split with the wife, a DWI, still under investigation for other doings, even possible connections to DC scandals, including Jack Abramoff. Massive implosion. I fucking love schadenfreude.

Best fireworks display you've ever seen?
Can’t remember if any one in particular stood out. So I guess none did. I've seen some great ones, though.

America's gift to the world?
The idea of America.

Favorite Bill of Rights right?
Numero uno.

Favorite American Holiday?
Thanksgiving.

Favorite D.C. monument?
The Washington Monument and the Pool.

Your dream for America's future?
No Republican presidents ever again.

Happy 4th, everyone

Great moments in misheard lyrics

(h/t Atrios)

Now you know

Toilets flush in E-flat.

In case you were wondering.

Hilarious

HANNITY: The news today brings a clear foreign policy victory for the Bush administration. But will the press report it that way? Joining us now for analysis, former ambassador to the U.N. and a Fox News contributor, John Bolton. What do you think this means?

BOLTON: I think it’s actually a clear victory for North Korea. They gain enormous political legitimacy…In return, we get precious little. I think this is North Korea demonstrating again that they can out-negotiate the U.S. without raising a sweat.

HANNITY: Boy I tell you they’ve done it time and time again, and I’m sorta perplexed, Mr. Ambassador, to understand why we keep going back to the well knowing that they haven’t kept the agreements in the past. Whatever happened to Reagan’s “trust but verify”?

(via Think Progress)

Making eye-babies

I can't tell if this is funny or scary.

Even couples who are not talking or touching can be reprimanded. Sabrina Poirier, a student at Pensacola who withdrew in 1997, was disciplined for what is known on the campus as "optical intercourse" — staring too intently into the eyes of a member of the opposite sex. This is also referred to as "making eye babies." While the rule does not appear in written form, most students interviewed for this article were familiar with the concept.


There's a whole lot more. And these people are running the government....

Moddling

The best indictment of the modeling industry I've seen yet.

This. Is. So. Wrong.

Stolen from Shakes...

I so need this book

I think that pretty much explains itself. And I'm not a hypochondriac.

Moddles

Jezebel gives us some good LOLVogue.

WTF is it with the poses? Are marionettes in this year?

Pro-life politicians for abortion!

Well, yeah, this is no real surprise.

But you really have to love it. Especially when the local "Right to Life" chapter whose endorsement you were seeking publishes this:




Of course, I think all of these people are off-base, but the in-fighting, the sunlight on the wingnut hypocrisy, everything about this story is just delicious.

(h/t Jezebel)

There is hope in the world, however

More pictures here.

Wow. A genuine standing O for the people who devote themselves to projects like this. Wonderful.

UPDATE: Test driving the wheels for the first time.

Best earworm ever. Or worst. I'm not sure.

You know when you hear a tune and you don't know what the song called? And to make it worse, you know the parody lyrics?

Well, that's the tune the ice-cream truck around here uses. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night.

So here I am, working late, and all I can think is:

Do your boobs hang low?
Do they woggle to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?


Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Anyway, here are the rest of the words, because I like to share. Misery loves company, after all.

Do your boobs hang low?
Do they woggle to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them o'er your shoulder
Like a bag that has a boulder?
Do your boobs hang low?

Do your boobs sit high?
Do they point up to the sky?
Do they wrinkle when they're cold?
Do they turn on every guy?
Do you wave them at your lover?
Do they run and look for cover?
Do your boobs sit high?

Do your boobs flop wide?
Do they flap from side to side?
Do they wave in the breeze
From the slightest little tease?
Do they pop from your brassiere?
When you drive, do they like to steer?
Do your boobs flop wide?

And another one

Another dead woman soldier. Pregnant, found in a motel.

I put the odds at 100% that she was killed by the man who knocked her up, and 98% that he is a fellow soldier.

I'm also sure she also told someone, someone, that she has been afraid of his behavior lately. Maybe a friend, maybe she went to a superior.

Let's see what happens.

The gardeners are Mexican though...

Holy emmer-effing d-bag.




PRESIDENT BUSH: Madam President, it is a pleasure to welcome you back to the Oval Office. We have just had a very constructive dialogue. First, I want to tell you how proud I am to be the President of a nation that -- in which there's a lot of Philippine-Americans. They love America and they love their heritage. And I reminded the President that I am reminded of the great talent of the -- of our Philippine-Americans when I eat dinner at the White House. (Laughter.)

PRESIDENT ARROYO: Yes.

PRESIDENT BUSH: And the chef is a great person and a really good cook, by the way, Madam President.

PRESIDENT ARROYO: Thank you.

On language

The Dark Wraith with another nice one.

Incompetence defined

Only the Bush administration would start an Arab-language propaganda machine news network, and staff it with people who have no background in TV, broadcasting, and the Middle East.

Are you really surprised it's not just a failure, but a full-blown tragicomic disaster?

Bring Jesus some pork chops

RIP

I don't understand your crazy moon language

From Pete Abraham's baseball blog:

Interim Mets manager Jerry Manuel laughed about the temper tantrum Jose Reyes threw when he took him out of the game on Tuesday to protect his hamstring. "I told him the next time he does that, I'm going to get my blade out and cut him, right on the field," Manuel said. "Hey, I'm a gangsta now. You go gangsta on me, I'm gonna have to get you now." Everybody laughed. But right-wing gossip monger Matt Drudge didn't get it. The headline on his Web site the next day said only, "New NY Mets manager threatens to stab a star player."

Fuck. You.

From the Dark Wraith (by e-mail).

Senate Housing Bill Requires eBay, Amazon, Google, and All Credit Card Companies to Report Transactions to the Government

It's time to burn this motherfucker down.

News like this is also why I don't understand how people fall for Obama's "hope" and "change" shit. Even if he personally is pure of heart and intent {snort}, the main problem lies with the other fucking 535 douchnozzles.

Army Pride

Another of countless women soldiers the military failed to protect from a predatory male soldier. And, of course, another coverup exposed.

Jezebel writes:
Army Specialist Kamisha Block died last summer in what the Army officially characterized as a non-combat incident and told her family was a case of "friendly fire." Well, if by "friendly" they meant "deliberately killed by a fellow soldier that had been abusing her without punishment to date" and by "fire" they meant "shot her five times and then killed himself," then it was an honest assessment of the situation. Otherwise, they just straight out lied to cover up the fact that the Army failed to protect one of its soldiers from domestic abuse and then lied to cover up the end result of their not-benign neglect.

America has truly lost its way under GOP reign.

Fun reads

I re-discovered the "Overheard..." site this weekend, and have been laughing my ass off at these people's general stupidity. Good times.

Overheard In New York
Overheard At The Beach
Overheard At The Office

Yup

Obvious, I guess, but still. It can't be said any more succinctly than this.

Ozzie and Lou. Rapping. Really.

Local commercials are the best. And by best, I mean worst. And by worst, I mean awesome.

Wonderfully silly

The faces of Olympic diving.

Brilliant

As Posnanski always is.

Seriously, you need to read this guy. You don't even have to care about sports. You need to read this guy.

On Tiger.

UPDATE: Someone in comments there posted this link, about Tiger's days playing at the Navy course with his father. Some people just don't deserve to live. I think Tiger should go buy that course and make it "Black Only." Just for shits and giggles.

Of course they did...

Internet Traditions is a blog.

My RickRoll is there, as are many other good LOLtraditions.

Heh

TBogg brings the funny on parenting a daughter.

The Big Battle

Driving home the other day, this song came up in a shuffle:

Johnny Cash, The Big Battle

I think sir the battle is over
And the young soldier laid down his gun
I'm tired of running for cover
I'm certain the battle is done
For see over there where we fought them
It's quiet for they've all gone away
All left is the dead and the dying
The Blue laying long side the Gray

So you think the battle is over
And you even lay down your gun
You carelessly rise from your cover
For you think the battle is done
Now boy hit the dirt listen to me
For I'm still the one in command
Get flat on the ground here beside me
And lay your ear hard to the sand

Can you hear the deafening rumble
Can you feel the trembling ground
It's not just the horses and wagons
That make such a deafening sound
For every shot fired had an echo
And every man killed wanted life
There lies your friend Jim McKenney
Can you take the news to his wife

No son the battle's not over
The battle has only begun
The rest of the battle will cover
The part that has blackened the sun
The fight yet to come's not with cannon
Nor will the fight be hand to hand
No one will regroup the forces
No charge will a general command

The battle will rage in the bosom
Of mother and sweetheart and wife
Brother and sister and daughter
Will grieve for the rest of their lives
Now go ahead rise from your cover
Be thankful that God let you live
Go fight the rest of the battle
For those who gave all they could give

I see sir the battle's not over
The battle has only begun
The rest of the battle will cover
This part that has blackened the sun
For though there's no sound of the cannon
And though there's no smoke in the sky
I'm dropping the gun and the sabre
And ready for battle am I


One of my favorites of his, but it's been at least a year since I've heard it. I was floored all over again. How brilliantly does this expose the folly, and the permanence, of war? I got chills.

On top of that, the timing was perfect. Of the last couple days, Atrios and TBogg have been pounding on Michael Gerson, one of the chief marketers of our Grand Iraqi Adventure. Now that he's done coming up with catchy slogans for killing brown people, he's moved on to the more fertile pastures of wingnut handwringing over the "vulgarity" of media and entertainment and political commentary. Yes, you read that correctly. A rethuglican getting his panties all in a bunch over incivility in politics.

These three posts cover it quite well, I think.

I, too, am aware...

Very "inside baseball" but very very funny.

Start here. Then go here. Then here. There are other links throughout the comment threads there.

Shakesville's contributors have joined in: Chet, Jeff, Melissa.

UPDATE: Game. Over.

Another winner.

Boom Boom (out go the Lakers)

Wow. Just wow. I see the Celtics decided to stop fucking around!

What a great way to end this thing. The first five games were always compelling and frequently thrilling, but there's something to be said for complete and utter domination too.

The Celtics just manhandled the Lakers tonight (HEY NOW!), and are about to wrap up the NBA championship with a 40 point win in game 6.

Congrats go out to Garnett and Pierce, who have truly earned this with their service in the league. Unfortunately, the Celtics are now stuck with Doc Pierce for a few more years.

This celebration is pretty freakin' cool. KG is going insane. KG is acting normally.

But of course, I'm annoyed right now. Look, I love Michelle Tafoya, she is really good at her job when her job is talking sports. She and Tirico and Van Pelt have a fantastic rapport when they do radio together. She knows her shit, and she's smart and funny. But I HATE this sideline/halftime nonsense. She's trying to ask KG questions, and all he wants to do is celebrate and throw all those fucking monkeys off his back. Let it be, dammit! Do you really need to ask him "how it feels?" You know exactly how "it feels" - he just screamed "yeah motherfucker yeeeargh" (paraphrasing here) at the top of his lungs on live television. (Props to the bleep guy.) Let. It. Be. But no, she has to try again. Guuuuuhhhhhhhh.

Wait a minute... David Stern does not know how to pronounce the word champion?!?! "Cham-peen?" Really? A commissioner of a major sport can't fucking pronounce CHAMPION?!?!?! It's going to take me days to get over this.

They got the MVP choice right, not that there was any doubt. Trooooooooooooth!

Suh-WING and a Miss!

My company is moving this summer, to a new city in a different county, so we've being doing as much PR as we can. Always good to get free press. One great decision was to sponsor the Albany-Colonie Chamber of Commerce's "Swing and a Miss" golf tournament.

What a fantastic idea. It's a scramble (of course) for brand new and non-golfers. Everyone has to start somewhere, and if you're not the confident athletic type, going out on a public course with absolutely zero game can be intimidating. (It's also not the best idea if your newbieness means you don't know golf etiquette. It's OK to suck - I do it quite often - just suck fast. That is all I and the other people behind you on the course ask.) Anyway, last year's inaugural event was so well-received that they expanded the field this year and still sold out very quickly.

Since sending 72 clueless people out there to fend for themselves would make for a long afternoon for everyone, the event places a "good" player at every tee box and every green, to help out as necessary. Swing tips, a little cheerleading, a little club advice, putt-reading, etc. Anything to make the event more fun than frustrating for the players. As the representative of the chief sponsor, I got the 9th tee.

I looked the course up online Sunday night, and the card said 146 yards; I threw an 8-iron in my car. I show up yesterday, do the meet-and-greet, and walk out to the tee box so I can get some practice shots in before I'm responsible for getting these hacks somewhere near the green. They point me to the ladies' tee box. Uh oh. I've got my 150-yard club for an 85-yard shot. Oh well. (I should have known better. Totally stupid assumption on my part.) Anyway, I choke down a bit, make a few half-swings, and pretty soon I've got the distance dialed in.

I was having a great time. All manner of people came by. Women who want to play so they can occasionally go out with their boyfriends/husbands, men and women who want to be able to go out for business purposes, and some people just giving the game a test-drive. My favorite group by far was a foursome of women from a locally-headquartered credit union. They were a riot. Filthy, filthy mouths, totally busting on each other. "You've got to choke down on the shaft!" "Go down more!" "Grip it gently." And that was just while the first of the four was on the tee. It got worse.

Then the lightning came...

The horn went off, and we all gathered in the clubhouse for drinks and to watch the US Open playoff. After the Chamber's keg got polished off, the clubhouse manager scored some major bonus point by declaring open bar for an hour while they finished getting dinner ready.

I'm not good in full-on schmoozing situations, so sitting at a table of all strangers would have really sucked. As such, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that my company also sent a foursome. Three of my female co-workers and the owner's wife were there (turns out they were on the 8th fairway when the event got called), and we hooked up inside and had a grand old time, drinking beer and generally being obnoxious to each other.

The shortened round aside, a successful event. A nice balance of business and pleasure for all, and who wants to be in the office on a Monday afternoon?

Ahh, brothers...

Just shoot yourself now

... if you suffer through this business jargon on a daily basis.

MORON

WTF!

What would an appropriate punishment be? I say vast public knowledge of your stupidity would be enough.

Tiger Woods? Why yes, he is the man.*

Of course, the 18-hole playoff for the US Open still wasn't enough to resolve the issue.

It took one extra hole, and one wayward drive by Rocco Mediate (giving the performance of his life), to finally finish things off on the 19th hole of the day.

What an amazing event, and Monday's play just solidified my opinion that this was the best golf event I've ever seen.

And I'm not alone.


*If you are one of the stupid fucks who still thinks "You da man!" is funny or original, or if you yell "Get in the hole" when Tiger - or anyone - is teeing off on a 613-yard par 5, I fucking hate you. This message was brought to you by Angelos, The Arbiter Of All That Is Pure And Good™.

Soccer, golf deliver stern rebuke to myopic "sports fans"

First, soccer:

For those who remember, the Greek national team won the Euro in 2004, their first ever major tournament win. In what can only be described as a highly improbable run, they beat Portugal and Spain in the group stage, lost to Russia in a meaningless group match, then beat France in the quarters, the Czech Republic in the semis, and Portugal again in the final. My father happened to be visiting at the time of the final, so we PPVed the final match and had a nice heart-attack-inducing 2 hours together.

This year, returning as defending champs, they regressed to the mean and have already been eliminated from knock-out round contention, with a meaningless game against Spain remaining.

I've watched as much as I can, what with not working from home anymore and home projects galore (put the last of the bamboo flooring down this weekend), but I forgot this morning's early game because of all the stuff to do around here.

My brother called me early in the second half of today's Czech Republic - Turkey match though and told me I had to watch, the offenses on both sides were just going nuts. The Czechs had a 2-0 lead, but the Turks had been pressuring and pressuring in a highly entertaining back-and-forth match. Sure enough, after the Czechs had a shot clank off the crossbar instead of going in for what would have been a clinching 3rd goal, the Turks went right down the field and scored to make it 2-1. And man did they keep the pressure up. Chance after chance fell by the wayside, total craziness, until they managed to tie the game with 3 minutes remaining in regulation. I get up to refill my beer, planning on settling in for a PK shootout, and Turkey scores again!!! Amazing. Turkey advances to the knockout stage, the highly-ranked Czechs go home. The ultimate winner, though, was the fan. What a friggin' game.

In other news, this was probably the best weekend of golf I've ever seen. Tiger Woods (perhaps you've heard of him), in his first tournament play since April, sunk a HUGE clutch putt on the last hole to force an 18-hole playoff tomorrow. Why is that anything more than business as usual for Tiger? Well, mainly because he had no business being on that course. He has obviously not fully recovered since the knee surgery he had after the Masters, and
was doubled over in pain after every tee shot, and some of his longer irons - every power shot, really. If this had been any tournament but a major, he wouldn't have been there.

The shots he pulled off Friday and Saturday on the back nine, and the gutty grinding he did on Sunday, made this an even more compelling watch than his 15-stroke destruction of the field at the US Open at Pebble Beach in 2000. There just are no words for this guy that haven't been used ad nauseum already.

I'm quite sure I will never see a man as good at any sport as Tiger Woods is at his.

Bwahhhhhh!

Wait, what year is it again? (part 2)

On ESPN right now, there is a profile of some American chick that's playing for ZOMG RUSSIA's women's basketball team in the Olympics this summer. OK, finally caught her name - Becky Hammon. That sounds familiar. Apparently she plays for the WNBA when that season's on here, then goes to Russia to play for a team in their professional league. She has a citizenship over there too.

The soundbites from the antis are hilarious. Some over-made-up woman with big hair saying "This is bad for her image. She can't be viewed as an All-American girl anymore." Wow. What're the odds that was a pageant mom? 100 to 1? 1000? A former coach (I missed whether it was high school or college) said playing for Russia calls her patriotism into question, another woman calls her a traitor outright. "There's history there!"

OK, Russia is a country now. This ain't your daddy's CCCP ladies. Sure, it's run by a murderous, petty little tyrant (just like the US!), but come on! In the last 15 years, has any of you really thought about Russia the same way you used to in the early 80s? If so, might I ask: "What the hell is wrong with you?" You're 45 years old, you should know better!

This lack of the ability to adapt to new information puzzles me. It's the calling card of a Bush voter, though, I can tell you that much.

UPDATE: Video is available. Not the complete segment, but enough.



Well, no more video. But here's a good link with the full story, and the absolutely pathetic quotes by the Team USA coach.

Yankees

They drafted this kid in the 41st round. He needs to be in the majors pronto.

I mean, he's the boss of the "titylicious booty poppin club" for fuck's sake. That kind of ingenuity will surely provide the spark the Yankees need to make a solid playoff run.

Congrats, Chemist!

On your engagement.

Three years and counting...

I love you.

Something about cats and dogs

I am home. And not to be too dramatic about it – awww fuck it, why not – I am alive.



Holy motherfucking shit, that was without a doubt the most rain, and the strongest storm, I have ever witnessed. Heavy sheets of rain that shook the truck and rendered the wipers (at high speed) a joke. Huge chunks of ice, along with who knows what else, pelting me so fast and hard it seemed like a machine gun was being fired inside the vehicle.

Ridiculously strong swirling winds levitating branches and leaves and random trash like magic.

Oh, did I neglect to mention the tornado warnings? After we came to a full stop on the Northway, about half the cars pulled over, and the rest of us chugged along at 5-10mph, because why the hell not? It's got to end sometime. And I'm sitting there there wondering whether a tornado will come and take me to Kansas. Because that's just my fucking luck. I have a positive outlook like that.

Called the wife, no answer at home. (I can't see 15 feet ahead of me, but Verizon Wireless: 5 bars. I can hear you now.) Left a message. You know, "I my be dead soon, I love you." (OK, maybe not that melodramatic.) Got her on her cell phone at the liquor store, in Saratoga it was just rain. OK, that just makes my decision to keep moving smarter. Sure enough a few miles later, the sky changed from depths-of-Hades black to a nice gloomy gray, the hail stopped, and we got up to 40mph or so. Then 60! Woo hoo! Suck on that, sky!

Awesome in every sense of the word. I wish I had a dash-mounted camera, so I could share.

Take the test!

Hey, remember that scanned test from a few weeks ago, rating your spouse?

Someone turned it into a web quiz!

Groan....

The Human Camera

Got this video from Erica:


That's astounding.

Search for Stephen Wiltshire on YouTube and you'll find him doing the same thing for London, Hong Kong, Tokyo, and a couple more.

The human brain is a nutty nutty thing.

And... we're done

Details to follow, when I have a couple beers and a full-size keyboard.

Way too cool for me...

See that right there? That's a cheap-ass piece of metal spray-painted bright blue and bolted to the hood boot. Check out the matching wiper.

Awesome.

Philly again!

Well, here we go again. For the third time in six weeks, heading down
the Northway, onto the lovely Garden State Parkway/Jersey Turnpike.

Three of us from the job are heading down for the annual STC
conference. By virtue of my last visit, I'm the tour guide this time
around. Gotta hit that BBQ joint again, and I am so looking forward to
the French Toast at the Reading Market.

OK, enough typing on the Q.